Saturday, January 31, 2009

But How?

I'm not entirely sure how I managed to gain a pound last week. I replaced cookies and junk food with celery and peas. I practiced extra hard. I had a couple of drinks and some soda, but not nearly as much as I tend to have. I only have ONE monkey cupcake.

The temptation to go back to my cookie gorging days was there this week. Especially when they passed around the chocolate cream pie at my pre-bout meeting on Monday.

But I didn't. Not one bite. Because I know that one week isn't going to do for me what several weeks of consistancy will. According to my graph, I need to lose 2 pounds a week for 9 weeks to be at goal. I suppose if I don't i can resign myself to the idea that this is what I weigh, but I don't think that's the case. Who knows? Maybe I will have lost 4 pounds last week! I can do it! I know I can! I haven't had any soda or treats this week! Can you tell I'm proud? because this has been really hard...

Friday, January 30, 2009

Birthday Celebration

No, not me. I am so not in need of a birthday. We went out last night to celebrate my stepson's 24th birthday. He is in school to become a chef and revealed to us last night that this might not be a good idea because there are a lot of foods he doesn't like. I guess that would make it problematic. Why he didn't figure it out earlier is anyone's guess.

Nevertheless, I indulged. What else could I do? Be good and have a freakin' salad? Well, I did have a salad but - I supplemented. Ok, ready?

  1. We started out with an appetizer of batter fried shrimp and cheesy grits with bacon. Uh, yeah. We ate it.
  2. Then I had the most wonderful Caesar salad ever. Really. It wasn't your regular Caesar. There were tomatoes and hearts of palm and capers and it was all simply awesome. Hey, I can kind of stick to the diet thing.
  3. For an entree I ordered the succulent and perfectly cooked beef tenderloin with a side order of bleu cheese mashed potatoes. Yep, ate that too.
  4. Oh, yeah, I had two glasses of wine. Oops.
  5. Then, we went to another restaurant, and because I was so delirious I somehow ordered a piece of Tres Leches. I ate that too.
Ok, now I'm trying to convince myself it was all a dream and never really happened. The question is, can one day - nay, one evening - of indulgence lead to weight gain? How can that be? I refuse to believe it. I'll continue to refuse to believe it until Monday morning.


Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bacon Encased Sausage!!!

My arteries are hardening just reading the article... but MAN that sounds tasty.

I wonder how many calories would be in just one teeny slice?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Don't they SOUND healthy?

This recipe grabbed from the first site that had a link to "wheat germ cookies," because we have a bottle of wheat germ in the cabinet that needs et.


1/2 c. oil
1 tsp. vanilla
1 c. whole wheat flour
1 c. wheat germ
1/2 c. honey
1 tsp. salt
1 c. quick oats
1/2 c. milk
Chopped nuts (optional)

Mix well. Drop by spoonful onto oiled cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

(Ed note: no mention in the recipe of how BIG the spoonful should be, or how many calories per nebulously sized spoonful-o-dough, or nuttin.' Frustrating. HOWEVER, it beats throwing out a rancid batch of wheat germ, becaue the stuff doesn't last forever no matter how much you want it to.)

Somethings else to do with wheat germ:

- mix with yogurt
- cereal topper
- stealthy pancake-mix add-in
- splendiferous addition to banana-nut muffins (esp the "Laurel's Kitchen" variety)

Probably lots more, but these are the few I've used lately in my quest for nutrition-packed hippe-style eatin'. Y'all have more ideas? Let us know, or tell us about your new fave food...hippie-style or no.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Pigs On Parade; Week 3

Ah, finally all are results are in and we can POST THEM!

We have a great show lined up for you today: Drama with scales, drama with the things scales say, a bit of steady progress, and some overachievers. We have a group total of 33 pounds lost in just 3 weeks (no thanks to me - sucks to go backwards).

Congrats to Utenzi, this week's biggest loser, and to Renn, the overall loss leader!

Also to No Celery Please for beating her goal already, and for teaching me to be a better person for not calling her mean names just because I'm having trouble keeping up...

And, the corrected data that pulls from the correct cells this time (good thing I'm not an accountant, huh?):
Shrinklet Change this week Total Change % of Goal
Chickie -1 -3 7.5%
db grin 3 -3 10.0%
Deborah -1 -5 12.5%
eb -1 -5 12.5%
Ginamonster 1 1 -5.0%
LJS 0 0 0.0%
NCP -2 -5 125.0%
Renn -1 -6 31.6%
Tiff 0 -2 8.0%
Utenzi -4 -5 38.5%

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Food of Doom

This video will make your blood thicken up; viewer discretion is advised.

Food issues, anyone?

Watch CBS Videos Online
(just over 5 minutes long, with a commercial at the beginning)

Friday, January 23, 2009

Brutal honesty of children

My lovely, knitter wife, Maxine and I are babysitting our nephews this weekend while my sister and her husband play in Las Vegas. One of our instructions was to allow the oldest, Bobby, to eat whatever he wants. Currently he is taking medication and he's losing too much weight. Oh to have Bobby's problem right now.

We had to pick the boys up at their afterschool daycare tonight. When we got there Bobby (age 7) admonished us for being sooooo late. 'What took you so long? I thought I would have to be here for two whole dayssss!"

Then, as we were making our way through the daycare maze of rooms to get his younger brother, Bobby informed us that he could eat anything he wanted. "Yeah," he said, "I need to gain and get fat like you two!" All this with the complete innocence that is a seven year old child.

But still. I said to myself, "Great, just great. Thanks for annoucing that to the world, Bobs."

Bit the Shed

Our somewhat trusty bathroom scale, which was purchased before the first Shrinking Piggies smackdown, has apparently gone schizophrenic.

It's a little disconcerting to weigh more after a good poop than before, but it can be overlooked since it's not an expensive piece of equipment. However, when one of us got on this morning and found the weight of a leg missing, and the other got on and was well over 300 pounds, I figured it's flown the coop. Bitten the dust. Given up the ghost of accuracy and justice.

Last time it died was just before our first weigh-in this month, but that was the batteries. It said so in broken robotese. I stepped aboard and it read '54tt', which I thought meant 'fat' until I tucked my belly between my knees and leaned in for a closer look. Battery replaced, the display lit up like when it was new. Until this week.

I know we're only weighing in weekly, but I was curious. The first number didn't make sense - I didn't feel 10 lbs heavier, so I stepped on again - and was 30 lbs lighter. One after another, it kept spewing random numbers like a lottery easy-pick generator.

Tonight, we got a mechanical scale (by the same company... cue ominous music). It said alternately that I'm 340, then 299, then 320. That thing is going straight back to the store.

Any recommendations on a scale that doesn't suck monkey butt?


So I feel like if I can manage to behave myself over the weekend, I am on track to knock off the last of the four pounds and see that scale sitting on 140 on Monday morning.

And so I was thinking. "Well, sure, I've been hungry, and I miss the cake. But this hasn't been so bad. Perhaps I should just target a few more pounds, just one more size..."

Where does it end? At what point is it that I will stop feeling fat?

When I used to weigh 275... the very idea of weighing less than 200 seemed like nirvana.

At 200, well, then 180 seemed like a good weight to be.

When I weighed 165 and finally was in a weight range considered "not obese", I was ok for a while, but eventually, I just started thinking that I need to be less.

I now weigh a weight that I literally have not seen since I was a young child. I am in a proper weight range for my weight. I am healthy. I am fit.

What's with the yearning?

I suppose that's a central question in life... as we all yearn for something. But I keep reaching goals that I seriously though were unattainable, and all it makes me do is think that perhaps, I could just go a little... bit.. farther.

Stupid brain. Maybe it would shut up if I gave it some cake.

PS - on re-reading this, it seems whiny and pathetic, but I'm posting it anyway... if I can't whine here, where can I?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Waist Not, Want Not

Weekday lunch time is hard. I bring food stuffs to work, mostly fruit, fresh veggies to nosh, veggies to put together a salad, crackers, tortilla chips, salsa, yogurt (had my first taste of Greek yogurt yesterday), and now and again deli meat (turkey, usually) and cheese for sandwiches.

I try to mix it up, keep it fresh, a constant rotation. But still, tiresome.

It becomes tiresome after awhile. Sometimes I crave heat, not heat as in spicy I can chomp on a pepper for that. But, I want hot food. Oh sure there is a microwave and I can heat soups, stews, chili, or other leftovers from home, but even that, yeah can becomes tiresome. I want hot food prepared fresh, made to order, or at least there waiting for my order.

You know, like a big, thick, juicy, burger with mushrooms, bleu cheese crumbles, onions, and of course, a side of fried potatoes. Or deep-fried chicken. Or enchiladas. Or lasagna. Or any of a thousand choices for lunch within a 10 block radius of where I work.

I walk at lunch time and I walk by many of them. American, Indian, Italian, Asian, Mexican, Greek, all that and more are represented in this neighborhood. The aromas can be dizzying.

And then there is the chocolate. I don’t know exactly where the chocolate factory is located, not in the immediate area, as far as I’ve surveyed, but you can smell ‘em brewing the stuff up. Some days, when the wind is just right, well, let’s just say I’m glad the chocolate cafĂ© moved away several months ago.

Most days I’m able to resist, for not only am I fighting the battle of the bulge but I’m also watching my pennies like a hawk in a constant tug-o-war with my wallet. So, I’m walking by many of those fine eateries at lunch time.

But it is hard.

Off the wagon, on the bike

Greetings everyone! This week has been good. So far, I feel like I've been consistent in a) eating more fruits and veggies and b) working out at the gym. But I am agog at the sugar content (30 grams) of an apparently innocuous container of yogurt. 1/3 of the total weight from sugar?! Dude! So, maybe another way to put calcium into my diet. Maybe adding just a bit of sugar to plain yogurt...that way I control the amount of sugar. (BTW: I hate fake sugar. It tastes gross to me, so I don't eat that low-carb or sugar-free stuff.)

My husband and I made homemade salted caramels to celebrate the inauguration. Apparently, President Obama and his wife really like them. So we made them over the weekend and only about 1/2 of the batch made its way to the lab on Tuesday. Delicious, and a great treat. I'm looking forward to the next time I get to make them.

As for next week, I'll be conferencing. Less working out, more temptation. I'll be coming here often for strength and panache in the face of a bakery the size of a city block.

:) LJS

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Damage Control

This weekend I ate crap (okay, not crap. chimichangas. movie theater popcorn. a real soda. and a corn dog.) and forgot to take my blood pressure medicine which all resulted in a weight gain last week. It also resulted in my face breaking out something horrible on Monday. So far, this week has been better.

There was a potluck at work on Tuesday and I managed to resist all of the tempting homemade goodies. I don't cook much at home so I am always tempted to eat until I'm ready to pop when there is a potluck.

I'm making better choices whether grocery shopping or eating at the cafeteria at work. I bet I have eaten the weight of a small toddler in mushrooms and broccoli since Monday. Something that really helps is getting up early enough to have a bite of breakfast. Two packages of instant cheese grits and I'm on my way without being tempted by the sweet hamlets (hold the egg!) that tempt me when I drive past The King on my way to work. If I sleep in too late to take 10 minutes for grits, I will get a couple of slices of sandwich turkey and a piece of string cheese.

I miss eating junk food. But I like the way that I'm starting to feel more than I miss it.

Stressy McCortisol, reporting for duty.

So, my workload is a total and unconditional PITA all-consuming nightmare right now, and all I want to do is go home, crawl into bed, and swig a half-gallon of pixelated eggnog to drown the stress. Mmm, eggnog.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, unless one of you happens to be filthy rich and spends their days lounging around your indoor pool while nubile servants of your choice bring you warm tea and fluffy towels as you bake gloriously in the warmth of your well-earned well being. Even so, being stinking rich must have its own stressors. I'm sure if you are well-heeled beyond all reason you still have experienced the conundra of "which servant shall I bed this afternoon?" or "what color body butter goes with 'smug'?" or "whatever shall I do with last season's Louboutons, given them to Goodwill or sell them on E-bay?" I share your pain, friend, and want you to know that I stand with you when you resist the urge to take a nip from the Krystal bottle and a bite of pate to ease the swirl of important issues that muddle your mind.

Won't you return the favor, and stand with me as I juggle my white-hot flaming balls of anxiety over here in the corner for your entertainment?

Thanks. I knew you would.

All of which is a way of saying that it's a darned good thing I only have three bucks for lunch. It's baked potato bar day at the cafeteria ($3.59 per 'tater), and man, doesn't a 3-pound baker with chili and sour cream and cheese sound like just the thing for drowning out the din of nearing doom?

I resisted

Had a meeting last night before practice at a local chain coffee shop/restaurant. The kind where they leave full color, laminated dessert menus laying around on the table. I have a REALLY hard time resisting the chocolate cream pie. Or Ice Cream. Heck, a couple of weeks ago, I had a damn brownie sundae for dinner.

But resist I did. The biscuit with butter and honey wasn't much better, but it was a lot smaller of a serving than pie or ice cream and the honey quenched my sugar craving.

That's not why I'm proud though. I'm proud because 4 cupcakes walked into my office today piled high with whipped cream frosting. I could SMELL the sweet whipped creamy perfume. They winked and sashayed and flipped their hair at me (last Friday the same kind of cupcakes wandered into my office and I ate TWO) They blew kisses and showed me their cleavage.

And I walked away. I want to enjoy my weekly treat and if the boy decides to take me out to dinner and ice cream, I don't want to have to watch him eat it because I couldn't walk away from a handful of cake. Plus, I would really like to be able to post a loss next week...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I have fallen

Uh oh, Piggies. I regret to report that I have fallen. I was riding along and then the proverbial bump appeared in the proverbial road. Did I navigate it with grace and aplomb? Hell no.

I am in San Antonio in a wonderful hotel located on the Riverwalk. I am attending a work convention. I did just fine this morning - fruit and a skinny chai latte. I did OK this afternoon - a bagel with jam. Not too bad. Not exactly avoiding 'The White,' but not a ton of calories either.

Then, around 4:30 I took a little walk along the river. The weather is beautiful here today. And, an outdoor cafe beckoned. It beckoned! What could I do? There was beckoning involved. Yes, I answered. I will not speak of my indulgences. They were not completely over the top but they did involve an 'r' word. Alas, my willpower broke down and I succumbed t the dark side (they really do have cookies).

No bother, as with all falls, one must get up and begin again without self flagellation (which sounds really horrible).

Monday, January 19, 2009

Member of the club

It’s official, and now I have to stick to it. I’m really going to miss pancakes and bacon, but I think as long as it’s an occasional treat instead of a weekly stuff fest, I should be okay.

I figured it out today, 2 pounds a week for 9 weeks will put me at goal. 140. I haven't seen it in 5 or 6 years. I made a pretty little graph. I offered to send it to B, but he didn’t think he was interested in joining in my neurosis. The important thing is that I asked him to support me in my attempts to lose weight by not tempting me with yummy treats. We have a tendency to go to dinner and cap it off with ice cream or a milk shake. I think that any lifestyle change has to be supported by the people around you. Especially the person you’re dating.

So here it is. The Plan.

I’m going back to one treat per week. That’s sweets, alcoholic beverages, soda. I can only have one. Not one of each, so I will pick wisely. And savor it all the more.

I’ll be eating more fruits and veggies. Less in the breads and pastas, although I have not really been eating too many of those. Brown rice instead of white. I already eat lean meats. Haven’t had a bratwurst in months. Mmm. Bratwurst. Veggies cannot mean gorging myself on carrots. Apparently, they have a lot of sugar in them. I think I have been pretending they are good for me and that I didn’t know that. No wonder they taste so good…

Smaller portions. No more stuffing myself until I can’t move. I do that a lot. I’m taking in way more than I should.

More exercise! I realize that for most people 4 hours of hard skating a week is a lot. But if I am going to be serious about losing, I need to add a bit more. So I’m pulling out the hula hoop. 15 minutes per day, or at least I will try. Hit the Marina more often, even if not on skates; my friend Dimebag Cheryl has started walking there and it would be fun to join her. I can always grab the dogs and run around with them for a little bit each day. They would certainly like it and maybe they will be too tired to get into the trash.

Healthy fun for everyone.

Pigs On Parade - Week 2

The numbers are in, and thanks to all for timely inboxing!

Here's what we have, alphabetically this time (I recombobulated the spreadsheet, and it's got colors and don't want to sort for results, for fear of smearing the paint):

Shrinklet... This week... Overall... % of goal
Chickie:.................... +3 ..............-2 .................5
db grin:..................... -2.............. -4 ...............20
Deborah:.................. -2............... -4 ...............10
eb:............................. -4............... -4 ...............10
Ginamonster: ............0................ 0 .................0 (Welcome!)
Lady Jane S:............ -2 ................0 .................0
No Celery Pls:.......... -1 ...............-3 ...............75
Renn:........................ -2 ...............-5 ...............26
Tiff:............................. 0 ..............-2 ..................8
Utenzi:..................... +4 ...............-1 ..................8

So far we've lost a total of 27 pounds (that's about the weight of all the brains among us), for 11.2% of our total goal. When we're done, we'll have lost 241 pounds. That's a bunch!

Go us!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Or Else

It's my turn to post a plan.

As for intake, it's all about quantity. In general, I eat pretty healthy stuff. Not much fast food, not many sweets, lots of fresh meat & veggies. I've been lunching at home instead of on the road, which is way better for me in quantity and quality. I'll be taking smaller portions and not going for seconds and thirds. Instead of having an entire sack of CFG (Crunchy Food Group, such as Tostitos) at the teevee, I'll bring a small bowl.

Exercise shall be brisk long walks at least 3x per week, and tennis when the weather cooperates. I plan to get back on my bike when the temps climb from the pit of despair.

Knowing myself, and my tendency to be a bit procrastanative, perhaps even a tad undisciplined, I've decided that there shall be consequences for my level of success. The article on incentives that was posted many weeks ago (and is no longer available - dangitt!) made sense to me. Internal motivation is ideal, but I need something more to do difficult things.

The reward side of meeting my goal will be fitting into smaller pants, not huffing and puffing when bending over or crawling on my knees (installing tile, baseboards, etc. means lots of knee time), and a flattter belly. The punishment side: If I don't make it halfway to my goal by halfway through the challenge (15 lbs by April 6), I'm going to shave my head. I don't want to be bald; I won't look nearly as good as the likes of Bruce Willis, Jason Stratham, Michael Jordan, or my friend Farrago. But negative reinforcement works, so that's my plan.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

My Plan

I previously stated my goals over at rennratt. However, I did not go into great detail with regard to my plan for exercise and overall health.

So, to recap:

I will be following the Weight Watchers Flex Plan. My goal is to lose (and keep off) a total of 19 pounds by July. At that time, I will reassess my health with the help of a doctor. If it is shown that additional weight needs to be taken off, I will readjust my goals accordingly.

Winter is the hardest time for me to exercise, as the cold can greatly impact my arthritis. As a result, I am aiming, each day, to walk a little more around the office. I also aim to begin using my exer-ball again. As the winter ends, I anticipate more time outside - and more walking.

I also plan to play the Wii again, rather than simply watching my husband and daughter while they play. I figure small changes here and there can turn into something great down the line.

Going Postal

I rolled out of bed at 7:30 this morning. I've been trying to get up at 5:30 so as to get to the gym and be all exercizy without rushing. In the past, if I rolled out of be at 7:30, I would have nixed the gym. I would have declared no time for such gym frivolities and been off to the shower. I don't really like getting the gym at 7:30. It just seems way too late in the morning to be exercising. Then I asked the question: WWAPWD?

What would a postal worker do? Would a postal worker not go to the gym? Would a postal worker shirk her duties? And then I remembered the famous creed carved into the US postal building in New York City:

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds

I was swept over with a wave of guilt (ok, it wasn't that bad). I mean really, if a postal worker will go out in 'gloom' then I can surely get my fattus buttockus to the gym. And thus, I willed myself to do it much like Yoda willing Luke's plane out of the swamps of Dagobah. Actually, I think I had to use more mental energy than Yoda.

I have decided that I will go to the gym every day no matter what. As long as I'm healthy enough to go to the gym, it will happen, every day. Perhaps there are people who can lose weight without exercising, but I am not one of those people. Exercise must happen. And so it shall.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I love it when a plan comes together!

Since everyone else is doing it, I think I should also. Here is my plan:

My exercise plan:
1) Run at least one half-marathon and one 10K in the spring
2) Weight train 2x/week
3) Increase the number of days that I run to 5x/week
4) Be more consistent about Saturday yoga

My food plan:
1) Desserts only on weekends
2) One mid-afternoon latte during the week as a treat
3) Have a fruit or veggie with every meal
4) Drink water (or herbal tea) more consistently
5) Find some great tasting recipes for vegetables

Drinking pop isn't a problem for me-I don't like pop. And my husband has been great for helping me with my #5 food plan. He grew up in a family that raised vegetables and knew how to cook them. Since he's moved here, I've been introduced to artichokes, brussel sprouts, avocado, fennel, and squash. And I've liked them all!
:) LJS

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

My Lame Plan

Hi, all! Since The Boss said we needed to post our diet/exercise regimens, here I am. I've kind of put this off because I don't have any exercise plan. I'm the laziest person you will ever meet.

So far, my plan has been to quit eating fast food and not eat anything that is just straight up crap. Since ending my affair with Burger King, I've even noticed that my skin has cleared up and I don't feel like a slug all of the time. I've been eating a lot of salad, apples, lowfat cheese (Ick. Sawdust. But it is still, technically, cheese. And I love cheese!) and just a small portion of whatever I cook for the family for supper.

For what it's worth, last week, I thought about getting on the treadmill. That isn't a thought that has ever crossed my mind before. Maybe I will get on it sometime.

My plan for banishing that wretched back fat

Oh hi! The Taskmaster (that's you, db) has noted that I might perhaps be the only Piggie who has not posted their shrinking plan, and so, in a fit of pique (does that burn calories?) I have pulled together this multimedia presentation for y'all for enjoy like a boiled egg on dry toast.

My Plan, by Tiff.

Less of this (I'll miss you!)

More of this (oh dear Lord)

And this (zoom!)

so I stop looking like this (a modest exaggeration, I must note)

and end up more like this (also - exaggeration, but a girl can dream of what life MIGHT be like with about 50 pounds lost).

Specifically - no drinkies 4 days a week, exercise EVERY day for 30 minutes, and that's it. I'm not going to sacrifice eating, because in truth I don't do too badly there. The cuple too-tree cocktails a day? Gotta go. The sitting on my butt all day and think thing that washing dishes is a workout? Also gotta go. But best of all, that double chin doesn't know it yet, but it's HISTORY. Just ask Jack, he knows how:

Everybody, fingertips on eyebrows, and 1 and 2 and 3!

Something to look forward to...

I am a member of the National Weight Control Registry.

It's a scientific study that tracks people who have lost significant weight and kept it off for at least one year.

I joined back in 2003, after I lost 110 pounds and had kept it off for a year.

They track what you eat and how you exercise and how your weight fluctuates over time by sending out an annual questionnaire.

They use the data to help researchers determine the best methods for losing and maintaining weight loss.

I use it because I know that once a year they are going to ask me how much I weigh and what I've been eating and that kinda keeps me on the straight and narrow because I don't want to report that I gained all the weight back. (not that there haven't been years when I had to report a 10 pound gain, because there were). Also, the idea of being able to join the registry helped motivate me to stay on the original diet.

I'll be very pleased to report an additional loss this year and attribute it to the roller derby - hey! Maybe someone will do a study on the health benefits of derbying!

So once all you shrinkertons are done shrinking... plus one year... go out and register yourself - you'll be helping science!

Pigs On The March

All our results are in for our first full week o' challenge!

In future I'll post fancy schmancy charts, but with only one round of results in so far, it's a boring chart. Not for long.

In order of magnitude, here are the numbers:
  1. Chickie: -5
  2. Utenzi: -5
  3. db grin: -4
  4. Renn: -3
  5. Tiff: -2
  6. No Celery Please: -2
  7. Deborah: -2
  8. eb: 0 (she joined during start week, so this isn't a result but a start)
  9. LJS: +2 (the UN has given her permission to go backwards, like they do)
Woot and yay! This is awesome! 21 pounds are gone - 2 bowling balls gone from our collective pants.

Monday, January 12, 2009

LJS: Week 1

I'm +2 for the week, within my usual yo-yo range. But still disheartening. I gave up my Wednesday mid-afternoon latte for this?!

Can I claim refugee status under the UN Water Retention Act of 1987?

Wherein it is stated that:
"All personages, either real or imaginary or Canadian, can claim refugee status described thereafter in the following circumstances. As alluded to in the aforementioned statement, protection from flesh-eating ovine oppressors is hereby offered to H. Sapiens females between the age of 14-45 that are under the duress of female lunar syndrome. Reported symptoms include: excessive water retention, hygeine resembling that of a Tasmanian devil, chocolate cravings not unlike a wildebeest and itching to walk into a saloon to wrassle locals."

Didn't think so. Back to my carrots!
:) LJS

Week 1

Today I weighed in at 208.0, 4 pounds less than my weigh-in last week when I was 212. This is within the amount I normally vary so I can't claim any credit yet.

Like Celery Please wrote earlier, the thing is to eat less and exercise more. The main item I cut out when I diet is soda. I love the stuff and drink a lot of it. It's not really all that caloric--there's less calories in soda than in comparable fluids like fruit juices---but even 120 calories per 12 ounces adds up when you drink 5 or 6 a day. 5 * 120 calories = 600 calories a day * 7 = 3,120 calories a week. That's almost a pound of fat (3,500 calories) as long as you don't replace the soda calories with anything else. In my case, I go with water so there's no additional calories.

By eliminating soda, I figure to lose 3.5 pounds a month, on average, and by doing more hiking I hope to drop another half pound. Like how I'm rounding that to change my 3.5 to 4? So I hope to drop 4 pounds total a month. As if! In reality, with the way the body works I'll be lucky to drop 2 but that's still progress.

Shamelessly Plugging My Exercise of Choice

So while I admit that actual roller derby might not be for everyone (because I do understand that there are people for whom getting knocked on their hind quarters 15 times in a night by crazy women dressed in booty shorts and fishnets might not be a description of "fun")... I do want to point out that even though it is not a contact sport, regular roller skating, either inline or with quad-skates, is some of the best exercise you can get.

Here's a few points of interest you might like to know about roller skating...
  • Studies have shown that roller skating provides a complete aerobic workout and involves all of the body's muscles, especially the heart.
  • Roller skating is equivalent to jogging in terms of health benefits-caloric consumption, reduction of body fat, and leg strength development.
  • Just one hour of moderate roller skating burns 330 calories for a 143-pound person. If that same person roller skates vigorously, he or she will burn up to 590 calories in an hour.
  • The number of calories burned per hour while skating at 6 mph is 350 and 600 while skating at 10 mph.
  • According to a study conducted at the University of Massachusetts, in-line skating causes less than 50 percent of the impact shock to joints compared to running (not so hard on the knees!)
  • During a 30-minute period, on the average, in-line skating at a steady, comfortable rate expends 285 calories and produces a heart rate of 148 beats per minute.

But here's something none of the "benefits of skating" people tend to mention. Roller skating is FUN! It's not like slogging to the gym and pedaling an elliptical machine for an hour. It's not like running endlessly on a treadmill... There's music! And other people having fun! You can go to your local rink and start skating, and before you know it an hour or even two has passed and you've been exercising all that time without any of the horrible boredom that goes along with the gym!

----- End shameless plug for the roller skating industry -----


The thing is to eat less and exercise more.

No matter how many commercials I see for miracle pills, plans, diets, cleansing plants, creams, rubs, etc.

It all comes back to eat less and exercise more. This is what is has always had to be.

Specific to this shrinking outing... my plan is to eat less cake. Must get the cake problem under control. But I'm not willing to live a cake-less existence forever, so I shall have to come to some sort of detante with the cake. I cannot let it win. I am not willing to let it go. We shall find some sort of accomodation eventually.

With a significant cake reduction and the continuation of my regular exercise plan as well as the Roller Derby, I will get to the goal.

Everyday is day one

And so it begins, although it's been beginning for the past 10 years. But this time it will always be beginning.

Like Deborah, I am not a calorie counter. I don't plan on counting anything because the real goal is to change the way you eat, right? We all know that. We all know that we should eat whole foods. We all know we should drink lots of water. We all know we should stay away from refined sugar. And, we all know we should move our bodies in some fashion, preferably every day.

If I know all this, then what's the deal? For me, the bottom line has always been will power. Just sticking with it. Not getting lazy. The real trick is tricking your mind. So I have decided that I will wake up everday with this mantra - Today is day one.

I think everyone starts out on day one with determination. No going back. But then, day two comes around. Not too bad. Then there's day seven and you just don't feel like walking the stairs or it's much easier to go get a burger than to make salad. But this time around, every day will be day one. I will think it and breathe it. It will be my drug of choice.

I just went to the gym and did my work out thang for about 45 minutes. I will get up tomorrow and do the same thing. I will not talk myself into not going. I will go. I will remember to eat. You can't lose weight if you don't eat. Ironic, eh?

I weighed myself today. I'd like to think that I have a really crappy scale, but I'm sure it's accurate. I was talking to Deborah about this last week and before I joined this little group I was going to put a little graphic on my blog with my weight. Known only to me, and Deborah, this would at least keep me honest.

There is something about disclosing one's weight. It's like telling people how much money you make. You just don't do it. But I will brave it here because, well, what the hell. I weighed in this morning at 235. Wow, I don't feel like I weigh that much. But I guess I do. My goal is to get under 200. So 40 lbs is what I'm shooting for. My final goal is to get to 160.

Today is day one.

Aweigh I Go

A.M. & P.M. workout 1/10/09
The plan is to plan meals and exercise. Then to execute said plan and finally, to stick with said plan until the goal is achieved and beyond.
Specifics of the plan, to put it bluntly, are to eat less and move more. I’m not the tracking and recording calories kind of woman, so I’ll accomplish my eat less feat by utilizing diet conscious recipes, adding even more fresh fruits and veggies, diminishing the use of heavy creams and sauces, controlling over-all portions, limiting desserts, and fast foods. Ta-Ta WingZings.
My personal nemesis is indiscriminate snacking. I nosh. The plan is to get a handle on that and / or at least plan to have more prudent noshing choices lying about.
Movement of the body might prove a little trickier as my knees like to pretend they are not of this mind. They have a mind of their own and can be stubborn. I have come to notice though, that they appear more agreeable when I weigh less. So, until I'm back to their desired level, we'll be negotiating, carefully.
The immediate plan for more movement is to add steps to regular day. I’ll do this my taking an alternate route to work 2—3 days a week, adding a mile to my walking on those days. I’ll walk during my lunch hours (when weather permits) and take the stairs whenever possible. Since I don’t drive many of my errands involving walking and the plan is to keep to that program and extend it wherever possible.
Once the weather clears I’ll get back to riding my bicycle.
Once the knees are back in my camp 100%, I'll jump rope.
Otherwise, I’ll dance around my living room, probably not in my underwear, not thinking I’m Madonna.
Oh, and water. I’ll drink more water and less vodka.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Defending Food

A couple weeks ago, I had heard a great interview with Michael Pollan, author of "In Defensive of Food", on NPR that discussed the relationship we have with food (aka what are we eating and how).
Click here to read the introduction.

So what are we eating? It's not food. It's food products, or even scarier sounding "edible foodlike substances". The primary culprits are: high-fructose corn syrup, processed white flour, and food science. These were revolutionary in their times because they allowed more families to work, expanded who could get vitamins and simplified home cooking. However, they are the modern bane of massive proportions (no pun intended).

He postulated that much of the "old-wives" wisdom about food and nutrition has been lost because of the recent rise of food science. One key example was the rise of margarine-grammas knew that butter, in moderate proportions, was ok but they were told by food scientists that they were wrong, that margarine was now the advanced butter (healthier, better tasting etc). But! It was actually margarine that was more unhealthy and butter actually is better.

Here are some of his simple suggestions for eating food!
1. Stay on the outside of the grocery store (just like no celery please suggested!)
2. If you can't pronounce it, don't eat it
3. If your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize it as food, stay away from it (I foresee "WWGGE" what would great-gramma eat bracelets)
4. Don't buy something if it has more than 5 ingredients (note: this doesn't mean that cassaroles, spaghetti sauces etc are verboten, especially if you make them yourself)

So, keep it real fellow piggies! Enjoy your food!
:) LJS

Next time, I'll ponder why we eat alone.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Stay away from white

That will be my eating philosophy. I am avoiding white. White is not the new black. White is more like avocado green shag rugs from the 70s - something to avoid completely. There are, however, exceptions to the white rule.

These are the 10 Commandments of the new covenant of the (mostly) non-white food eater:

10. Thou shall not eat white rice
9. Thou shall not eat white bread
8. Thou shall eat only whole wheat pasta
7. Thou shall look upon refined sugar as the visage of Satan himself
6. Thou shall shun the inside of the grocery store and shop the perimeter avoiding most processed foods
5. Thou shall accept fat free milk as the divine drink it is
4. Thou shall not covet they neighbor's Oreos
3. Thou shall worship whole grains every day
2. Thou shall avoid salt as much as possible
1. Thou shall eat thine vegetables like thee mother told thee long ago

e nomine padre et filii in spiritus sancti

Now, where's the Communion cracker and wine?


I was clicking along merrily last morning, minding my own email, when SUDDENLY (as Stacy Keach would say while narrating Most Disastrous Things That Happen To Other People Caught On Tape), a banner ad made me click it.

YARLY, it reached through my eyeballs, manipulated my nervous system, and dragged my flabbyish arm into clicking position.

The hook was a 'blog' which testimonialized about this awesome product and how Oprah said it would help me lose weight. The 'blogger' was suspicious, as was I, but eventually she became convinced she should try it. She lost all kinds of weight and had slick before and after pictures to prove it, and there's a Free Trial (just pay shipping and handling).

I signed up for my Free Trial. I entered my card number. I printed the receipt. In the fine bits at the bottom, it had an ominous warning about the Terms and Conditions to which I agreed.

I went back to the website and found said T&C. Apparently, I have 14 days from yesterday to call and cancel (regardless of whether my Free Trial makes it here in order to be tested for my satisfaction), or else they get to automatically charge me EIGHTY FARGING SEVEN DOLLARS for another 30 tablets.

Oh hell no. I can buy 3 pairs of sneakers for that kinda money, and maybe have enough left over for a jump rope and a bag of carrots.

I'll let you know if my Free Trial was worth the $3.95 for handling.


Welcome aboard a new Shrinker, name o' eb, by way of Middle Girl! Our numbers are increasing, which in this case is OK.

Things I Like... You Might Too!

Quaker Lower Sugar Apples and Cinnamon Oatmeal - Two words... Apples. Cinnamon. You can't go wrong with THAT, people. Plus... lower sugar = 110 calories per package. 2 of those puppies in a mug full of hot water makes a yummy at-desk breakfast in the morning and will hold until around noon. Plus - hey! Oatmeal lowers cholesterol!

Campbells Select Harvest Soups. They have several varieties that are under 150 calories "per serving" (yeah, 2 "servings" in a can makes no sense, but, whatever). That makes for a nice 300 calorie lunch (add some light crackers or something iffn you are allowed a slightly higher intake than that). Mexican Style Tortilla is super-yummy. As is the Italian Wedding soup. And the teriyaki chicken noodle. There's some listed on their web site that I'd like to try but my Walmart does not seem to stock them. I prefer these to the progresso "light" soups because Progresso makes their soup "light" by putting in 3 chunks of whatever the soup is supposed to be, then filling the can with water. I prefer these because there is actually soup in the soup... even if they do have a few more calories.

Gardenburger Breakfast Sausage - OK, I don't think I ever met a gardenburger I didn't like... but these breakfast sausage patties ROCK! To me, they taste just like "real" sausage... only without all the grease and the vaguely nauseous feeling that comes from consuming oily spicy pork products. I cook them for 5 minutes on my foreman grill and have them with a big bowl of mixed veggies. At 60 calories each, 2 of these plus the veggies with spray butter can do a filling dinner for under 300 calories. (I've also had them for breakfast with fake eggs, but fake eggs are tough to take)

Speaking of spray butter... One calorie per spray, people!!! Parkay Spray is made of soy, but it taste like actual butter. OK, OK... if you're used to eating actual butter, this probably tastes more like margarine. But once you get away from butter for a while, this is some tasty, buttery stuff. Plus - added bonus. Unlike "I can't believe it's not butter" spray (which I TOTALLY can believe is not butter) - this stuff actually MELTS when you put it on stuff. Great on toast.

Finally, the fine people at the Kozy Shack corporation bring you sugar-free tapioca and rice pudding. Unlike Jello's so-called sugar free "pudding" products. These actually taste like something you want to eat. I am seeing on their web site that they have WAY more than those two flavors... but the Mart only carries the plain rice and tapioca. I'm willing to be some of those others are pretty good, though. (oh - not the apple pie ala mode, though. That's just gross)

SHRINK, daggone it.

OK - when searching for article on if anger burns calories (don't ask, please), I came upon this page as an example of how to jump-start a slimming routine.

The Three-day Diet.

There is no mention of beer or bourbon in this diet. I am thinking this is not the one for me... still though, some of y'all might want to give it a shot.


I'm off to take a walk instead of pursuing even a mere 3 days of diet. I simply don't have it in me yet to delve to this depth of delectables denial.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Update! We have a joiner, and our collective efforts will now be my wrestling weight in 11th grade. Welcome aboard!

That was a long time ago.


PS - still taking on shrinkers for the next week, the more the merrier!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A nice online tool to track exercise

Hi everyone,
I'm so excited about being a part of the Shrinking Piggies! (Well, except for the whole needing to lose weight thing.)
I would like to invite you to try Buckeye Outdoors as a tool to track your progress as you exercise. It's great! I like that I can save my routines and my running routes. There's a nice tool that you can add to your blog and show everyone what great progress you are making. And (my favorite), you can also generate reports that will show you how many calories you have slaughtered!

Good luck! :) LJS


That's the collective goal of the Shrinkertons. 141 pounds, or one entire adult human. Gone from the face of the earth, gone from waistlines and wardrobes.

Go us!

Monday, January 5, 2009


OK shrinkertons! It's Monday the Fiff of January, and time to get this party started.

The busyness and travel and craziness of holidays, family get-togethers, and weddings (for some of us) are behind, as well as the days of munching on anything I can reach.

Here's the deal: Send me your weight loss goal and target date, and I'll add you as an author to this 'ere blog. That way you can share your pain, your plan, and your progress as we chug toward our goals. Tiff and I are planning on keeping this challenge going for 6 months.

Participation is defined thusly:
  1. Weigh on the same day once a week, and send that number via email.
  2. Write out your plan to reach your goal - include eating and exercise changes
  3. Post about your experience whenever you feel like it, no limit

The idea of incentives got no traction, so fuggeddaboudit.

Here is the address to which to address your emails: spiffytown (at) g mail dot com.