Monday, January 12, 2009

LJS: Week 1

I'm +2 for the week, within my usual yo-yo range. But still disheartening. I gave up my Wednesday mid-afternoon latte for this?!

Can I claim refugee status under the UN Water Retention Act of 1987?

Wherein it is stated that:
"All personages, either real or imaginary or Canadian, can claim refugee status described thereafter in the following circumstances. As alluded to in the aforementioned statement, protection from flesh-eating ovine oppressors is hereby offered to H. Sapiens females between the age of 14-45 that are under the duress of female lunar syndrome. Reported symptoms include: excessive water retention, hygeine resembling that of a Tasmanian devil, chocolate cravings not unlike a wildebeest and itching to walk into a saloon to wrassle locals."

Didn't think so. Back to my carrots!
:) LJS


eb said...

Hate to tell you this LJS, but 45 isn't the cut off date. In fact, it gets worse before it gets better and for lots of us 45 is the beginning of the getting worse.

I think wrassling locals could burn some calories, though. Wrasslin' locals on roller skates might be even better.

db grin said...

I propose we get that entire paragraph turned into a School House Rock song.

Why am I singing the Water Buffalo Song in my head now? You clearly said Wildebeest...

rennratt said...

As a fellow female within the same age range, I hereby consider you protected.

tiff said...

Listen to eb. After 45 you might not get the lunar aspect, but may indeed get stuck on 'bloat' for a frigging LIFETIME thereafter.

Ask me how I know.