Thursday, January 8, 2009

Stay away from white

That will be my eating philosophy. I am avoiding white. White is not the new black. White is more like avocado green shag rugs from the 70s - something to avoid completely. There are, however, exceptions to the white rule.

These are the 10 Commandments of the new covenant of the (mostly) non-white food eater:

10. Thou shall not eat white rice
9. Thou shall not eat white bread
8. Thou shall eat only whole wheat pasta
7. Thou shall look upon refined sugar as the visage of Satan himself
6. Thou shall shun the inside of the grocery store and shop the perimeter avoiding most processed foods
5. Thou shall accept fat free milk as the divine drink it is
4. Thou shall not covet they neighbor's Oreos
3. Thou shall worship whole grains every day
2. Thou shall avoid salt as much as possible
1. Thou shall eat thine vegetables like thee mother told thee long ago

e nomine padre et filii in spiritus sancti

Now, where's the Communion cracker and wine?

5 comments:

tiff said...

CHURCH SNACK!

What about Twinkies - they're yellow. Can you eat those?

Great ideas, these are.

eb said...

11. Thou shall not bastardize the non-white eating Commandments.

No Celery Please said...

how about just the brown part of the oreo... and I'll not covet the white part?

db grin said...

Bingles aren't white, and they're most certainly not good.

(Neither are they good for thee, but I find it easy to avoid nasty-ass snack foods)

tiff said...

NCP - the white part of an oreo is the BEST part. Double-stuffed, mmmmmm.

That apple I just ate is not doing its job, now that I know there's CAKE in the break area.