Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Problems I never thought I'd have

So... now that I have managed to rein in my brain and decide that this weight range I am in right now (138ish on Friday to 141 ish on Monday) is a good place to be and the one where I want to stay... I have something of an issue.

Having lost, since 2001, roughly 50% of my body weight, I am left with rather more room in my skin that I require.

Imagine, if you will (or maybe you would prefer not), a frosting bag chock full of frosting. The bag may be big, but the surface is taut. Now, imagine squeezing out half the frosting. Now what does the bag look like? It's not pretty.

But I can't really think of any options for resolving this other than the fairly unappealing one of paying someone to take a knife to me and slice away the parts I no longer need for containing flesh.

This is only slightly unappealing because of the fact that it's major surgery and therefore a life-risking proposition. More unappealing is the idea of having to pay, what? $10,000? $20,000? Lord knows... how much does elective surgery cost?

I know the insurance company would probably have paid for gastric bypass surgery. Do you think if I called them up and told them how much money I saved by doing it without that surgery, they might be willing to float the cost of a tuck here and there? Anyone here in the insurance game?

8 comments:

tiff said...

If you can prove that the excess is causing a medical condition, then the insurance company will likely pay for a panniculectomy (if you have the extra tummy skin thing going on.)

Anything else is probably going to be elective. Arms, thighs, etc., unless you can prove that, once again, they're causing a medical issue.

Wouldn't it be nice if everything had just snapped back to 'normal' after you'd achieved such a momentous feat? Whatever happens, you should be enormously proud of what you've achieved.

db grin said...

Duct tape is not only cheap, but shiny.

boneman said...

OK, maybe you know it, but, maybe you don't....

Christopher Lloyd gets run over by a steamroller on Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

My suggestion would be, don't do it.
It would have to hurt too much...

eb said...

Sometimes flabby skin can acquire excessive yeast and become infected. If that's the case then you do have an insurance case.

Otherwise, I'd recommend weight training. Seems to me if you build muscle you'll change the nature of your skin. It still might be saggy but not as much. You'll also gain weight so if the number on the scale is important then perhaps you should lose more weight while concentrating on building muscle.

Otherwise, I suggest dressing fabulously.

eb said...

also...I changed my website...

nfluxus.com

Ginamonster said...

Endermologie?

No Celery Please said...

Duct Tape and Steam Rollers!!

I shoulda thought about that before!!

ALthough I know EB is right on with the whole weight training thing, I think Duct Tape might be less effort on my part :)

utenzi said...

Ummm, clothes pins if you can stand the discomfort and hemming tape if not. I'm afraid I can't think of anything genuinely constructive.