LJS: Week 1

I'm +2 for the week, within my usual yo-yo range. But still disheartening. I gave up my Wednesday mid-afternoon latte for this?!

Can I claim refugee status under the UN Water Retention Act of 1987?

Wherein it is stated that:
"All personages, either real or imaginary or Canadian, can claim refugee status described thereafter in the following circumstances. As alluded to in the aforementioned statement, protection from flesh-eating ovine oppressors is hereby offered to H. Sapiens females between the age of 14-45 that are under the duress of female lunar syndrome. Reported symptoms include: excessive water retention, hygeine resembling that of a Tasmanian devil, chocolate cravings not unlike a wildebeest and itching to walk into a saloon to wrassle locals."

Didn't think so. Back to my carrots!
:) LJS